I am now aiming precisely at your groin. So speak or forever hold your piece.

You can have any brew you want... as long as it's a Corona.

Tell me about an ambush? Tell me about an ambush? I ambushed you with a cup of coffee!

It is worth saving? Is a bite victim worth saving? For all I know, it's the brains that are already dead. It's the idiots that are still alive.

I got it. You call my brother-in-law, Billy Bob. He's got the fastest boat in the whole damn river. Billy Bob shore 'nuff fix they're ass! Call Billy Bob!

What a relief. I was afraid I wouldn't be able to use the liar-liar-pants-on-fire defense.

There goes that son of a bitchin' saboteur!

There's a time to think, and a time to act. And this, gentlemen, is no time to think.

I think Washington is drowning in a sea of its own bullshit.

Nice bike! Where do you put the batteries?

Hot sauce... for my burrito! You taste so good to me!

I'm Johnny Wishbone, psychic extraordinaire. And if you need me, just think "Johnny Wishbone" and I come running.

Hey, if I had some place to go I certainly wouldn't be in 'Cleve-Land'.

Have you ever had that feeling that this is the best I'm ever gonna do, this is the best I'm ever gonna feel... and it ain't that great?

Just a slight stiffness coming on... due to the altitude, no doubt.

Well, it's like, how many babies fit the tire? You know, that old joke.

You should give up smoking. Cigarettes are very bad for your chest.

I got a little paranoid and thought people were out to get me. Now I know, they are.

"It's like riding a psychotic horse toward a burning stable."

Because you made a phone call.