Sorry boss, but there's only two men I trust. One of them's me. The other's not you.

Come on, man. Guns, murderers and crooked cops? I was made for this, bro.

Do you know what the worst part about being you is?

Mr Bond! We can do a deal! I'll buy you a delicatessen! In stainless steel!

Put that cookie down. NOW!

Are you in danger of becoming a good man, Proximo?

May I press you to a cucumber sandwich?

Meanwhile, at a very expensive waterfall set...

When one is in Egypt, one should delve deeply into its treasures.

We accept the reality of the world with which we're presented. It's as simple as that.

I am now aiming precisely at your groin. So speak or forever hold your piece.

You can have any brew you want... as long as it's a Corona.

Tell me about an ambush? Tell me about an ambush? I ambushed you with a cup of coffee!

It is worth saving? Is a bite victim worth saving? For all I know, it's the brains that are already dead. It's the idiots that are still alive.

I got it. You call my brother-in-law, Billy Bob. He's got the fastest boat in the whole damn river. Billy Bob shore 'nuff fix they're ass! Call Billy Bob!

Son, step aside, or I will crack you right in the jaw.

What a relief. I was afraid I wouldn't be able to use the liar-liar-pants-on-fire defense.

There goes that son of a bitchin' saboteur!

There's a time to think, and a time to act. And this, gentlemen, is no time to think.

I think Washington is drowning in a sea of its own bullshit.

Nice bike! Where do you put the batteries?

Marla... the little scratch on the roof of your mouth that would heal if only you could stop tonguing it, but you can't.

Hot sauce... for my burrito! You taste so good to me!

I'm Johnny Wishbone, psychic extraordinaire. And if you need me, just think "Johnny Wishbone" and I come running.